What is a Family?

What is family really all about? Even friendship? It isn't about agreement all the time. It is about the differences that make us a unit. Families and friends don't always agree and problems are going to crop up. The beauty of family and true friendship is that after the problem is gone, the relationship is still there. That is what it is all about. Learning to settle the disagreements while leaving the relationship in tact. Family and friendship and eventually marriages should be started on the foundation of love, mutual respect, understanding and forgiveness.

SMALL Things

Early morning waking up to see the face of someone who loves you
The smile of your child when you fix their favorite foods
The smell of your parent's kitchen, bathroom or living room
The feel of a stuffed animal you received several Valentine Days ago
The feel of your spouse's arms around you when you embrace each other
The smell of his/her cologne/perfume
The sounds of disagreement over nothing amongst your children
The feel of the sun on your face
The smell of rain
The joy of a nice uninterrupted bubble bath
The feel of carpet/hardwood/tiled floors under your feet
The comfort of your pillow
The sound in the background of your favorite movies/love scenes

Life is all about the small things. "But I come that they might have life and that more abundantly."
The best part of life is knowing that we are loved, by God and by others.

Happily Dysfunctional

The other day I listened to my son and my husband go back and forth, arguing over nothing and being totally dysfunctional and I couldn't help but laugh. In all that noisy arguing, it was actually comforting to hear them going at it over a domino game. I took a deep breath and thought about how blessed I truly am. That day was more special to me than a thousand days of harmonious interactions. Yes, we are all happily dysfunctional!

Put it In- Take it Out

It seems that for everything in life, you get out of it what you put into it. I meet so many people who seek success and happiness, but they don't want to put in the work to succeed. They don't want to take the higher road when offended and so they have no happiness.

I spent many years of my life seeking happiness and it wasn't until a recent disturbance in my life that I realized my issue. The problem wasn't my surroundings. The problem was my outlook on life. Happiness is a choice we make in the face of whatever issues that come our way.

The same is true for success. Success breeds success. The first place to be successful is in your own heart and mind. If you think yourself a failure, no matter what "successes" do come your way, they will never be enough. They will never feel like accomplishments. It begins in your mind.

Until You Change

Change isn't change until you change. I remember the first time someone said that to me. It left me in thought for a few moments. Here's the thing about changing- first you need to figure out what needs changing. Almost always it has to begin with a mindset shift. While it doesn't happen overnight, once you can change your thinking patterns, you can change your entire life.

I AM AN ALIEN

Okay so maybe not a real alien as in from another planet, but an alien from another kingdom, another world of which I am a citizen. This world I hail from is nothing like the one I occupy now. There is no bitterness or hatred in this world and the master of my former and future kingdom is a healing, loving, forgiving and merciful master. He also teaches his followers to be the same. He teaches us gentleness and kindness. He teaches us what it means to honor one another and in doing so, honor him.

Since I've been in this new world, I've not once experienced the true joy that is constantly around us in my home. You see, us aliens are always happy and gleeful because of the goodness of our master. He feeds us with nothing but the best. His smile is like a light that brightens our pathway so that we never walk in darkness. He causes us to excel all other subjects from all other kingdoms and for this, we are eternally joyful.

Since I've been in this new world, I've not once felt the love that I felt unceasingly at home. You see, our master has fashioned everything around us to be love, show love and absorb it. We walk in it, breathe it, and eat it. It is in the very core of our being.

Rather than complain, however, I've decided that since I have to be in this new world, I should do my home proud and show these strange creatures what it is to know our master and ruler. I should show them the love I know personally. I should show them the joy that I myself have experienced. I will quiet my complaints so that my master's personality shows up through me and maybe one day these strange, hateful, miserable, hollow, faithless subjects will come to crave the master with me. And just maybe, I can win more loyal subjects so that when the time of my departure comes, I can take others home with me. Just maybe I've been sent away from home for this very reason- to show this new world what a real loving master is like. AMEN!

Sisterhood ~ Proud to be a D.I.V.A

Over the past few months, I've had the pleasure of growing even closer to a group of women that have made my life a pure joy. There are many things being said about social networking but some of my best friends were found through Myspace and Facebook, even Twitter. I've built lasting relationships with people I'd never have met without the help of the net.

I'm a part of a group called D.I.V.A in life and on Facebook. The name means daring, intelligent, victorious all-stars and it was started by Debbie Todd. I'm so happy that because of her, I now how sisters and friends who have truly been in prayer for me.

Sisterhood among women isn't what it used to be in some ways, but in others it is better. There's nothing more precious than having people you can be transparent around and have them speak the truth in love, not jealousy or hidden anger and judgment. Sisterhood is about sharing burdens and lightening loads. Sisterhood is about love, without conditions. I've stood and fell with some of these women. They've seen me soar, seen me crash and burn, seen me rebuild and soar again. Ups and downs and turn arounds, they've been right there and I'll always appreciate what I have in them. I love you, DIVAS, always and forever sisters!

Childhood Demons

Unresolved issues from our childhood have a tendency to crop up in unsuspecting ways and at unsuspecting times. Sometimes, our goals are tied into the things we did and didn't have as children. If we never really fit in with society, that will affect the kind of adults we become.

There's nothing sadder than a person who's still trying to redeem themselves based upon their childhood. And there will be a long list of broken hearts, bruised toes and a long trail of tears behind them. Let's release our childhood demons now. No matter where we hail from and no matter what we began this journey with, we have a say in where it goes from here. We don't have anything to prove to anyone. Be free of that monkey on your back today.

The Hidden Things

The hidden things of the heart can sometimes be our biggest hindrances to a full life. The only things we bother to hide are things that have a certain amount of power over us. That is why to keep them hidden and not deal with whatever issues we have can be detrimental.

When it comes down to living, the less baggage you carry into each day is the more joy you'll find in the little things in life. Don't hide your flaws, not that you should flaunt them either. But your closets are for clothing and not skeletons. The more bones you stuff in your closet, the more energy you have to spend to keep them in there. It takes more energy than most of us want to use just to press through each day in faith and joy and love, to maintain peace. Why would any of us add another demand on our already shortened supply of energy, effort and time?

Helping Hands

No matter who you are and where you are, what you have and what you lack, you have it within you to be a blessing to someone else. There are so many people who think money is the answer to everything when it comes to helping others, but it isn't. In fact, prayer overpowers and outshines money.

When people come to us for help, our hands should always be extended. If we don't have what they need, we always have the ability to show support, love, understanding and to pray for them until what they need is supplied.

Don't withhold your hands and your ability to do good because of what you feel you lack. Help others because one day you will need the help of others.

Peace Like a River

I remember the first time I saw the term, peace extended to us like a river. I thought about how rivers flow constantly. In my human reasoning, I figured the saying would be more appropriate to say peace like a pond or even a lake, something still. But then I realized that our lives doesn't have to be void of actions and people or even pain for us to have peace. Indeed, it is the issues of life that shows us how much we need peace and makes us open to receive it and guard it diligently.

I don't need peace when all is well, for all is already well. I need peace when all is in turmoil. How strange that the calmest place in a hurricane or tornado is the center of it! God makes no mistakes.

Get Empty

In the quiet of the early morning hours, when there is nothing stirring and competing for your attention, that is when you should rise and pray. That is when you should softly release the contents of your heart before God and trust Him to speak the direction you need to take for that day. I've not always done this, but when I'm not doing it, I can feel it in all that happens in my life.

For every major fall I've experienced, it was because I didn't empty myself before Him so that He could fill me up again with something holy, pure, loving and true.

Don't Give Up

Don't give up on your dreams too quickly. Success in life is not about instant happenings but patient endurances. I used to be the most impatient person, wanting everything right now and in a hurry. It got me into a lot of trouble because I couldn't see that life is a grand show and every single aspect of it works together. To live it the right way, a person has to be still enough to hear what isn't being spoken, and has to be patient enough to catch the patterns that are not obvious. Hence why there are more poor people than rich people. There are more unhappy than happy. The sad and dejected outnumber the joyful and content probably 100 to 1 because most people will not learn the lesson being taught in day to day living.

Don't give up on your dreams. Let them come true. Nourish them. Keep them before you eyes and in your heart. Keep them in constant prayer and saturated by faith. Then they WILL manifest for you, no doubt!

Pretty, Prosperous, Powerful

I remember when the title to this blog was just something cute and slightly telling. I never dreamed of how often those words would help me keep fighting.

There's no way you can fully understand or embrace pretty until you've fought off and faced down ugly. What does that mean? It means, we all have things about ourselves we want to change, things that hinder our ability to see the beauty inside ourselves. Until we face and defeat those things, it's hard to feel pretty (attractive, desirable and pleasant). This isn't an outer appearance thing. This is a heart thing. Beauty comes from the inside.

To be prosperous, you have to defeat poverty in all aspects. This battle like the previously mentioned one begins in the mind. You have to change your mentality and thereby your actions. Trying to change actions without shifting thought patterns is a guarantee that the old habits and actions will come back. And when it comes to prosperity, while it does involve monetary assets, the biggest issue is state of mind. Prosperity has to encompass emotional and mental stability, family and home life wholeness, financial peace and most importantly peace with God. Those things marry together to create real prosperity.

To be powerful, a person has to choose power. We all will have time when defeat seems imminent and our options seem few. We will want to quit. We will want to turn back. Those are natural reactions to trials, but trials build skill and strength. To be powerful, you cannot run away or turn back. You have to face up to whatever is in front of you and make a decision not to be defeated.

When I was a child, I was a peace-lover. I hated violence. I was afraid to fight and even more afraid of being hurt. That fear made me the butt of many jokes and the object of many brutal attacks. By the time I became an adult, I began studying the greatest warriors in history. I even looked at the warriors around me. The one thing they all had in common is a lack of fear... all of them were confident in their abilities and wasn't afraid of pain. I'd lived over half of my life afraid of pain, any kind of pain. When I finally came out of that fear, something new was born inside and I understood what power is... it is when you conquer the fears that control you. Power has nothing to do with others or control over others. Power is control over self... self-control. Power is humility. Power is quiet. Power is loving and even gentle, but explosive in ways most people will never know.