A Marriage Testimony

I'm still beaming about my two years of marriage to my sweetheart. As co-pastor, I minister to husbands and wives, or engaged couples regularly. They often ask me for marital advice. Most times, I keep my marital advice on my Truth and Intimacy blog. However, I want to share something with my P3 readers.

No one's marriage is always cheerful. Trials come. Things happen. Stuff gets under your skin. It involves sacrifice regardless of who you marry. Nevertheless, I always tell people that I have one of the best marriages of any I know. I can say that because of a choice I've made. I decided that happiness is part perception. If I look at my life properly, then I can think myself happy. Yes, Lord. The rest is action. You can't be happy if you refuse to be proactive.

When my husband and I first got married, we had nowhere to live. I'm not even exaggerating. My friend asked us to move out the day before our wedding. We had $60 in our pocket. Even my wedding dress was purchased by another friend. We had a car his mom had given us. That Friday night, we parked in front of another friend's house and slept in the car. We went to the church the next morning, smiling and happy and went through the ceremony. We had no clue where we'd live. At the reception, the pastor who married us and had no idea we were homeless, gave us $40 and a key to an old house with utilities already on. The house was really, really old and very dilapidated. It was close to a train track. Honestly, one day the train came through and we couldn't close the door. We literally had to wait on another train to come through so the door would shut. I had my business, as slow as it was growing. My husband and I sacrificed all our money, pouring it into Living Waters and making a decision to feed something that would one day feed us. I could tell you so much more about our struggles, but even when we had nothing, we had each other. When he makes me mad, I choose to think about how much he went through with me, nursing me when I was so ill that I could hardly go to the restroom alone. I think about times when he'd buy me something to make me feel better even when his own shoes were coming apart. He was doing this both before and after marriage. I think about how he would work for 12 and 14 hours when we were just dating and then would come home and clean up and cook because I couldn't move around very much. So, I'm happy to have someone who loves me like that.

What's my point? If you look only at the things you don't have, or the things you don't like, you're going to ruin your marriage. If you look at the tens, twenties, hundreds or thousands of reasons you married your spouse, then you will nourish it carefully. Take a trip over to our marriage blog and look around. You'll find a lot of encouraging posts. Also, consider purchasing our marriage book, Truth and Intimacy: A Couple's Journal at Amazon.com.

A Real Faith Walk

Over the last three weeks, I've watched God move and do some miraculous things on my family's behalf, and on behalf of the members at the church. I just want to share a testimony today and hope that some of you can find encouragement in it.

Faith was not something I wanted to learn. I knew I needed it, but I wasn't honestly in a hurry to apply it to every single thing in my life. You see, for someone who hates being out of control like myself, faith is a nightmare before you jump into it. However, God is like that attentive father that sees a weakness in his child and begins putting things in place to provide strength in that area. So, lately everything has been a faith walk and let me tell you that there is nothing better than walking strictly by faith and not by sight.

Now that I'm in a faith walk, I don't ever imagine coming out of it, whether for finances, for health issues, for family, for salvation, or anything else I may ever desire.

Happy Anniversary: Dedicated to Pastor Lensey Hayes

Today marks my second anniversary. I've officially been Mrs. Lensey Hayes for two whole years. It seems like it's been so much longer than that. So, this post is dedicated to the love of my earthly life.

I met my husband back in 2002. He was affectionately referred to as Brother Mike by everyone. He was known for his prayer life. That man prayed and cried like no one I ever met. He was so dedicated to God, flaws and all. He understood the Bible and could teach it on any level from youth to elders. So naturally, we became friends.

Now, seven years later, we're still best friends. He really is my better half. There's so much about him that I could say, but one blog post won't do. For starters though, he's more patient than I am. He's more loving than I am. He naturally cares for people in general. He is the voice of reason in my life and the lives of many others. He goes above and beyond to protect my heart and make sure I'm always secure in our marriage, even more than he has to. He wants me with him in all that he does because he seriously considers me his best friend. He doesn't forget our important moments, even when I do. He honors me both in public and in private. He's never called me out of my name, abused me, or embarrassed me. He's very demonstrative, very sweet to me, but still knows when to put his foot down. He's made sacrifice after sacrifice to take care of his family and the ministry. If I could crown him as anything in the world, I'd probably crown him as the most loving man of all time.

In all the years I've been in church, I hadn't found one single Christian who has a better reputation than my husband. He has a past. Some of it still tries to hang on to him, but the man he is now is so full of integrity that no one who knows him even cares that he's made mistakes. I've never known him to get caught up in gossip, lies, or greed (which can run rampant in some churches, believe it or not). This man is the picture of what it is to be a man. God bless his strengths and even his weaknesses, and God blessed me with him.

Mikey, I love you with everything in me. I can't imagine having a better husband. So, I fully expect to be loving you for many, many more years. I hope that I can add something to your life daily, that I can minister to who you are and who you are on your way to becoming. You make my heart feel at home while in this earth. There's nothing above you but God. I don't have the words I wish I had to tell you how passionately I love you, how much I trust the God in you, and how much I look up to you. The Bible instructed wives to honor their husbands, and gave us the example of Sarah who called Abraham her lord. Well, you made that easy for me by being the wonderful man you are. Here's to us and the next forty years of blissful and happy marriage intermingled with the kind of trials that bind us even closer together, and winds that intertwine us so tightly that no one but God can tell where one ends and the other of us begins.

The Power of Confessions

Scripture after scripture in the Bible talks about the power of words, us having what we say, us eating the fruit of our lips. Even for those who are not Bible readers or believers, new age beliefs are increasingly teaching about the power of confessions. So, what is the true power behind confessions?

First, continuous action of any kind creates a habit or a horror. So, continually speaking positive things over your life creates a habit of positive thinking. Secondly, words have the power to create worlds or destroy them. They can bring intense pain. They can bring amazing pleasure. They are powerful. We are going to use words one way or the other. Why not try positive confessions? Recently, I began confessing biblical scriptures and positive thoughts over my own life. Let's see if that increases me in areas I currently struggle in.

Child Abuse on the Rise

It's amazing how the lack of money can influence and affect so many areas of life. As the economic woes continue to grow, child abuse is growing with it. Divorce rates are spiking in some states. Children are suffering in almost every arena. Even some schools are reporting a drop in GPAs for students who otherwise are very bright.

When the material things fail us, and they always will at some point, we need to get back to basics (remember the Allstate commercial). Money can buy a lot of things, but it cannot buy happiness and neither can it replace love. Parents, this is my plea to you: please don't forget your children while you wrestle with holding everything together. Most people hate to lose stuff. No one wants to lose their home, or automobile, or furniture. But those things can be replaced. Your child, on the other hand, can never be replaced. Remember what's important and live your life accordingly!

Empowerment - It's a Mindset Shift

Empowerment is a word thrown around all the time. Some people call themselves empowerment coaches, and books that are meant to empower us sell out daily. However, I think many have gotten so fascinated with the word that they've forgotten the real meaning.

I don't personally believe I'm empowered until changes are actually made and maintained in my life. I don't feel that empowerment can be relegated to only one area of life either. Either I've been empowered or not. If so, then changes in my mindset will show up in my lifestyle.

As you endeavor to learn and grow, don't forget that changing your life is as simple as making different choices and following through with them. Someone described insanity as doing the same things over and over but expecting a different result. I do believe that is one real aspect of it, if not the very cause of insanity. How long will you be disappointed with your life? Stop being afraid of the known. Choose rather to be afraid of the here and now if it is falling below your expectations.

When Enough is Enough - Get Proactive About Life

There are times when a person has to say that enough is enough in their lives. They have to take a stand, putting their foot down on some issues.

After all these months of dealing with abused and hurting women, and even men, seems that is the one thing I rarely talk about. I don't often get to tell them to stand up and fight for themselves. I don't ever want a person to take that the wrong way. However, over these past few weeks, I've had to learn all over again to stand up and fight for myself. I've had to stop myself from allowing life to run all over me. I bet I'm not by myself.

We all know that jobs are still being lost daily. Businesses are closing or selling. We know that apparently violence is picking up in some places, places we used to feel were safe. Still, if we only focus on all the terrible things going on, we will lose our desire and ability to fight against the tides of life. We'll begin to feel hopeless and helpless. I don't want to feel either. Today, I decided I would go back to the days when I made positive confessions over my life daily. I decided to get away from friends who drain my positive energy. I decided to surround myself with praying people, because prayer matters. I decided to get back to faith. This is how I was able to overcome the hardships of my past. This is how I'll overcome the hardships of my present.

What will you do? How are you going to become more proactive about your life and it's direction? What have you let slide so long that you feel helpless about it now? What happens next for you?

Reading Rules

Lately, I've been spending more time reading. I try to make time to do a few pages a day. Some days I meet goal. Some days I don't. Still, networks like Goodreads, Shelfari and LibraryThing constantly make you want to pull out books and devour them.

After doing some research for the literacy center our church will soon open, I found that reading comprehension is getting worse rather than better. Today's generation of children struggle with slow reading speed and a need to re-read passages over and over again to gain appropriate understanding. That is terrifying to think we have a group of children that will soon be adults who have problems with comprehension.

Parents, you need to require your children to read. It can be fun, challenging, and educational. It can be a lot of things, but more importantly, it can set them up for success later. We as parents need to read more frequently. Children are amazingly perceptive. If you read a lot and enjoy it, they'll many times take the hint.

Now, let's all say it together... READING RULES!

SuperSucker - Avoid Wasting Time

Social networks are all the rave. It's nearly impossible to have a computer and not get sucked into using one network or the other. If you're like me, you may actually look up and find yourself in hundreds of groups and networks. They are notorious time consumers.

While social networking can do wonders for personal branding and business building, it can wreak havoc on schedules. Most people actually spend twice as much time as allot on them. They can be addictive fun, like say Twitter. They can be full of possibilities, like say Goodreads. They can simply be fun ways to reconnect with old friends, like say Facebook. Whatever they are, they must be managed with an iron fist if a person is to do them and still stay on schedule with other more important tasks.

I've found four tips that work, at least when I work them, to manage most of my networks and still have time to work and write.

1. Don't get on first thing in the morning. For some reason, networking first thing in the morning can make you feel amazingly lazy. Places like Twitter are popping pretty early, and there's always something interesting to find. It can keep you on for hours without you realizing it. Start your day with your most important tasks.
2. Allot time for networking. If you're currently spending way too much time on them, rather than quitting cold turkey, start a step down program. Do less and less until you can build up enough discipline to control the time used on them.
3. Opt for shorter posts. Short and frequent builds readership and saves you time. Truth be told, most people don't have time to read those endless posts (like this one- LOL) anyway. Save time by managing how much you write and when you write.
   
4. If you have blogger, write a few posts at a time and schedule them. It can save an enough amount of time.

These are things I'm beginning to do again to save precious time. As we all know, time can't be manipulated. A minute is a minute. All we can do is utilize it to the best of our ability.

Success at Goodreads

I used to be a book devourer. Now that I'm busy all the time, I don't read half as much as I did. When I do read, most of the time it is my Bible, being a pastor and all. LOL! Or, I'm reading a manuscript submission, which can be a pain at times.

Anyway, I have so many books that it is ridiculous. I've read books that I've forgotten. Being on Goodreads has helped me find my love and passion for reading again. Now, I'm back to taking a book with me on nearly every trip I make. Sometimes, I only get one page read at a time, but I take them nonetheless.

Goodreads has other benefits too. Last month, I sold seven copies of my book as a direct result of relationship-building on Goodreads. I've met a lot of people who actually love my writing. It's been a big morale boost for me. It keeps me encouraged.

If you're an author, you need to be on Goodreads. If you read like most people breath, Goodreads is a great place.

If you're there already, or sign up, look me up.
www.goodreads.com/lacreshahayes

Are You a-Twitter?

I love Twitter. It's like an amped version of IM. I've met a thousand wonderful people, most of whom I remember by name. I've formed bonds. I've made friends. And boy, oh boy, have I sold some books using Twitter.

It took awhile to catch the hang of it, but Twitter is really all about sharing information and forming bonds. Once you form a bond with someone, your products sell themselves. For instance, I have interviewed a million virtual assistants, but the one I finally hired was one who I considered a friend. Darcee Sellers, the VA, was very friendly, very helpful and always posted useful links.

If you're not twittering, you should be. If you are, look me up.
www.twitter.com/lacreshahayes

My Writing Career - Whaddaya Know About That

Writing is one of those things that the more you do of it, the more addictive and fulfilling it becomes. I have an idea for a book floating around inside me, a historical Christian romance. Over the past several days, I've been researching the language of the 30's, 40's and 50's. I used to love history in school, even fancied being a history teacher. Now, I'm having to learn it all over again.

I've also finished the final edits to Raw Redemption, and expect it to be printed this month. YAY! I was so obsessed with that book. I wanted it to be perfect, you know. So, now I've done all that I could and we'll see what the readers think.

Over the last three weeks, I've been working on a companion for my bestseller, The Rape of Innocence. It's not easy writing questions that will make a person truly reflect before answering them. So, that's coming along very, very slowly. The way is slow with The Snare of a Strange Woman too.

So, that's where my writing is this month. I'll definitely keep you all updated.

Getting Back in the Swing of Things

Well, it's finally April. It's warming up and I'll be spending a lot of time outdoors. Still, I miss blogging and sharing with you all on a daily basis. So, I'm whipping my blog into shape. I guess you could call it a spring cleaning. LOL!

So, stay tuned in for what's coming. You just never know about me.