As a very outspoken and take no prisoners person myself, I can testify from the frontline that having our conversation seasoned with salt isn't a bad idea. In fact, it is a God-idea. We have to learn, especially as women, that everything that comes across our hearts and minds are not to be spoken from our mouths. How many times have we said things and judged matters too quickly to wish we'd been quiet later? How many times have we spoken evil and mean things over the lives of others? How often have our tongues cut deeper than we intended? This is a HUGE problem and must be conquered one outspoken, loud-mouth at a time. I have to start with myself.
These are the words I'm trying to remove from my vocabulary, or at the very least make adjustments to when and how I say them:
~ "I don't care" (which is normally not true, but a defense mechanism)
~ "Just forget it" (which even if they do, chances are I won't as quickly as I said it)
~ "You always" (other than breath, we're rarely always doing anything)
~ "You never" (normally not true either and unfair to say)
~ "If I was..." (I'm not; if I'm giving an opinion, that's not the way to start the sentence)
This is something I will definitely revisit. I want to leave you with these scriptures:
"Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands"
1 Peter 3: 3-5 KJV
"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance: against such there is no law. And they that are Christ's have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts."
Galatians 5: 22-24 KJV
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10 comments:
When you write a blog, or even an email, you edit and correct the words before they are spoken... Perhaps if more of us would pause, just briefly, before speaking, in an effort to pre-edit our spoken words, it would change our lives!
Those hurtful words! We say more hurtful words to those near us. We speak critical, hurtful words to fellow Christians and call it "admonishing in love"...
We should all be slow to speak and faster to apologize.
This topic needs more posts!
I have to agree that it is too easy to say what we think, it's not gender specific. But words spoken in haste can sting worse than any wasp. I for one have all too often spoken first and thought later. It's cost me dearly. Words spoken cannot be retracted. It happens as one writes also. The wrong way of phrasing something is easily mistaken for something else. This takes practice and thankfully I have a dear friend that is extremely patient with my outburts because I do say too much too fast.
Good post, thanks Lacresha
Man, this is very powerful. I can't remember the last time I heard anyone talk about meekness or quietness of spirit for a woman. Preachers just don't tell with this subject, but unfortunately God has not changed his mind about it- not at all.
i don't necessarily believe all the bible. i believe freedom of speech is the greatest thing in the world. how a person feels about what i say is their problem and not mine. i've been silent most of my life, even when i was a little girl. never again. i feel i have the right to say what i want to say when i want to say it like everybody else do
In Hindi lore, words must pass through three gates before spoken. The gates are labeled thusly:
1. Is it kind?
2. Is it truthful?
3. Is it necessary?
A lot of my words never get through that last gate, but I can't say it was true when I was younger. Sometimes my words weren't necessary at all - just self-important. Lately, I've been dealing with the kindness issue, because my truths have become very, very harsh.
Walking through all three of these gates is one tough journey, I'll tell ya!
Dani
http://hotbuttonpress.blogspot.com
Great post. And SO true.
From another reforming loud-mouth,
Nan
Truly pondering over all I just read. Nothing to add but that I'm thinking about it.
As a person with a very meek and quiet spirit, I don't say too much usually. Sometimes I think about something but others are talking, and by the time I could say it, I've had time to think about it. Then I either keep on being quiet if it wasn't the best to say or have a better way to say it! I know of many times I have been hurt by what others have thoughtlessly said, and I would never want to hurt anyone with my words. We all would do better to think (and pray!) before speaking. Thanks for a great post, Lacresha!
Good topic and thoughts on that topic. I liked Dani's listing of the Hindi lore re: worthy speech as well. We can be so careless with flippant mouths these days. It pays to guard our language.
It is wise, I think, to consider what you say before you say it. Most times, I say something to myself before I speak. Oft times, I end up not saying it.
And while I think it's probably true that everyone has a right to say whatever they want (as long as it causes no harm, such as yelling fire in a theater), I think the people around that person have the right to turn away and leave. And that's probably fine with the other person -- although in the long run probably not.
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